Maybe, I should start writing in my blog again. It's not like I have a job or anything else to do anymore. Since my last post some things have happened. If you read it, I'll inform you that all my predictions came true.
Things were going great for about a week and then Thanksgiving happened. I left town for a few days and things weren't the same when I returned. Leaving town for a short period of time always seems to be the ending point of a new relationship. I can never go out of town again.
We still saw each other regularly and things were going pretty well for a month until she went home for Christmas break. That was the nail in the coffin. Now, I just don't know what is happening. I got a little depressed, but I am still functioning. We haven't seen each other for about three weeks now and that is probably a good thing. I need to get over it. I shouldn't have these feelings for anyone, especially someone who doesn't return them.
We're going to see each other tomorrow and I'll have to see how things go.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, November 24, 2008
Where is my mind?
Maybe she's a witch?
Something has to explain how she's walked in here and within a week, turned all my shit upside-down. It's taken me years to train my brain to this point and now I'm getting these "feelings." You know, the ones you can't control. The kind that would convince you that writing a blog about how you feel is a good idea.
I feel like such a loser because I can't even heed my own advice. If the me from two weeks ago were sitting next to me now, I'd be giving myself Hell.
There are those people out there who say things like, "You just know when it's right." It must be something chemical. I don't even know her. It was instant when I saw her. Like she had a switch to the dopamine or endorphin levels of my brain. Whichever ones are controlling this.
This really isn't me. Ask anyone who has known me for the past three or four years. I'm usually looking for my out before I'm even in. I'm pretty sure this is the beginning of my ruination. This will only lead to me being depressed and unable to leave the house. I'm pretty sure history does repeat itself.
I hope she's just as scared as me.
And this blog was a lot better when I thought it up in the shower. It was written more intelligently. It went down smoother and well it just made sense.
Something has to explain how she's walked in here and within a week, turned all my shit upside-down. It's taken me years to train my brain to this point and now I'm getting these "feelings." You know, the ones you can't control. The kind that would convince you that writing a blog about how you feel is a good idea.
I feel like such a loser because I can't even heed my own advice. If the me from two weeks ago were sitting next to me now, I'd be giving myself Hell.
There are those people out there who say things like, "You just know when it's right." It must be something chemical. I don't even know her. It was instant when I saw her. Like she had a switch to the dopamine or endorphin levels of my brain. Whichever ones are controlling this.
This really isn't me. Ask anyone who has known me for the past three or four years. I'm usually looking for my out before I'm even in. I'm pretty sure this is the beginning of my ruination. This will only lead to me being depressed and unable to leave the house. I'm pretty sure history does repeat itself.
I hope she's just as scared as me.
And this blog was a lot better when I thought it up in the shower. It was written more intelligently. It went down smoother and well it just made sense.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
A train wreck
I've got like 100 things happening at once. My life is like a train wreck at the moment. Hopefully I can get back to updating this site normally soon.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Hometown Visit
On my recent visit to my hometown I went to the high school football game to watch my cousin play. After the game, everyone was filing out of the stands and a gun went off. The local sherriff was playing with his gun in his holster and it went off. He walked away in shame with his head down. What a Barney Fife.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Remembering names
I suck at remembering names. Just the other day I met this girl at a friend's party. I had been talking to her for 30 minutes and then it hit me. I don't remember her name! So, I texted my friend asking for her name.
I wanted to ask this girl for her number, but I thought I'd look stupid asking for it, without knowing her name. One way to get around this embarrassment is when you ask for her number, ask her to put it into your phone, to make sure you don't make a mistake.
So, I've come up with a couple ways to help remembering people's names:
1. When you meet someone and they give you their name, repeat their name back to them and then say, "I'm so-and-so."
2. If they have the same name as someone you already know, group these people together in your mind.
3. Write it down in your cell phone.
Note to self: The cute girl you met in yoga class the other day was Nancy. The cute girl in your painting class is Camille.
I wanted to ask this girl for her number, but I thought I'd look stupid asking for it, without knowing her name. One way to get around this embarrassment is when you ask for her number, ask her to put it into your phone, to make sure you don't make a mistake.
So, I've come up with a couple ways to help remembering people's names:
1. When you meet someone and they give you their name, repeat their name back to them and then say, "I'm so-and-so."
2. If they have the same name as someone you already know, group these people together in your mind.
3. Write it down in your cell phone.
Note to self: The cute girl you met in yoga class the other day was Nancy. The cute girl in your painting class is Camille.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I had another dream
I had another strange dream last night. I was living in a house, not my current house, but a house I'd never been in before. I found a lot of valuables hidden in the floor, which I assumed were put there by the previous owner.
I wanted to keep the valuables, but I was afraid that the previous owner might come back for them and kill me. Then, I found out that the vents were bugged and someone had been listening to me. I thought about calling the police and returning the valuables, but how could the police offer me any protection unless they were with me 24/7?
Everything scared me. Every car that drove by. Every knock on the door, I was waiting for someone to reclaim their stuff. I finally woke up about 5 am, and looked around to make sure no one was in the room with me. I did this twice before I realized this was all a dream.
I wanted to keep the valuables, but I was afraid that the previous owner might come back for them and kill me. Then, I found out that the vents were bugged and someone had been listening to me. I thought about calling the police and returning the valuables, but how could the police offer me any protection unless they were with me 24/7?
Everything scared me. Every car that drove by. Every knock on the door, I was waiting for someone to reclaim their stuff. I finally woke up about 5 am, and looked around to make sure no one was in the room with me. I did this twice before I realized this was all a dream.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Learning to shut up
Learning to shut up is one of the hardest lessons to learn in life. I am terrible at it. If I would put the same amount of energy into speaking when I don't want to (due to shyness) as I do when I shouldn't speak (making a jackass of myself) I'd probably be a more likable person and have more friends. But that would be breaking some other tenet of my philosphy which states: more friends equals more problems.
Some basic rules to follow about learning to shut up: Never talk about politics, religion, how much money you have or bowel movements.
So, basically we're left with this conversation:
Me: Hi, how are you?
You: I'm fine how are you?
Me: I'm fine. It was nice talking to you. Goodbye.
You: Bye
When I first moved to Austin, I was dating a very beautiful, tall, hourglass-figured, blond who I liked very much. As you all know, I really suck at dating and if I had kept my mouth shut, I could have possibly dated this woman a lot longer or maybe still today. She had told me about her friend in high school who went to the same college as me. We had the same major and I had actually worked with her on several projects. The girl was a total beast to work with and I told my then girlfriend that her friend was a bitch to me in college. Which is all true, but I should have most definitely kept it to myself, because after a month of dating she broke up with me the next day. I later found out that this was the reason.
Anyway, that is that. Hopefully, I can learn and encompass this virtue into my daily life.
Some basic rules to follow about learning to shut up: Never talk about politics, religion, how much money you have or bowel movements.
So, basically we're left with this conversation:
Me: Hi, how are you?
You: I'm fine how are you?
Me: I'm fine. It was nice talking to you. Goodbye.
You: Bye
When I first moved to Austin, I was dating a very beautiful, tall, hourglass-figured, blond who I liked very much. As you all know, I really suck at dating and if I had kept my mouth shut, I could have possibly dated this woman a lot longer or maybe still today. She had told me about her friend in high school who went to the same college as me. We had the same major and I had actually worked with her on several projects. The girl was a total beast to work with and I told my then girlfriend that her friend was a bitch to me in college. Which is all true, but I should have most definitely kept it to myself, because after a month of dating she broke up with me the next day. I later found out that this was the reason.
Anyway, that is that. Hopefully, I can learn and encompass this virtue into my daily life.
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