Maybe she's a witch?
Something has to explain how she's walked in here and within a week, turned all my shit upside-down. It's taken me years to train my brain to this point and now I'm getting these "feelings." You know, the ones you can't control. The kind that would convince you that writing a blog about how you feel is a good idea.
I feel like such a loser because I can't even heed my own advice. If the me from two weeks ago were sitting next to me now, I'd be giving myself Hell.
There are those people out there who say things like, "You just know when it's right." It must be something chemical. I don't even know her. It was instant when I saw her. Like she had a switch to the dopamine or endorphin levels of my brain. Whichever ones are controlling this.
This really isn't me. Ask anyone who has known me for the past three or four years. I'm usually looking for my out before I'm even in. I'm pretty sure this is the beginning of my ruination. This will only lead to me being depressed and unable to leave the house. I'm pretty sure history does repeat itself.
I hope she's just as scared as me.
And this blog was a lot better when I thought it up in the shower. It was written more intelligently. It went down smoother and well it just made sense.
Monday, November 24, 2008
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